!Honest Eric!

"And those who knows what's best for us must raise and save us from ourselves."

2006-09-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

-Jesus Christ-

I think to many of us are forgetting those words.

Who needs reasons?

2006-05-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

Why do I like these people, I've been meaning to list this for awhile.

Nate: Why NOT like Nate! He's of my favorite CAA members cause of his wit and catchy speach patterns.

Allye: Had I know this girl in person I's ask her to marry me. Not cause I think we'd love each other but because I'd give up on finding a wife, and she would accept me as husband just cause of my presistence. That's how awesome she is.

Mave: Ever since she put me in her Comic (Also staring U.C. and Kokoro Diasuke) I've felt somewhat attached to her. I didn't feel very wanted or noticed during that time of my life and that really mde me feel good. besides I have always had a special place in my heart for cute asain girl >.> <.< . *Hugs Mave*

More to Come!

Nothing Gonna Changing

2006-05-07T19:16:00.000-07:00

I've been having mixed feelings on moving. On one hand I've regained all My family on the other I've lost my friends.

In the end I think this will be for the best of me, as a missionary I really shouldn't get attached to anyone (save my family)

Also: I've just found UCs blog, I'm hoping he can visit my blog sometime.

Advent Children

2006-04-28T19:37:00.000-07:00

Ever since my family moved up here, I've felt like an opening act.

Thrice people from the youth group have come to this house to visit me. Just three times.

Over the course of time I've become skilled at getting people to relax just a bit, an opening act to my Poppy the youth pastor. No one has ever tried to make me feel this way, and that's alright.

A month ago, I feel as if I've found my calling in life.

I have a heart for the Japanese people.

I've been gifted with "People Skills"

A missionary to Japan, it makes so much sense.

However, I am not willing nor gifted for teaching. People come to hear The Word of God, and all I have to do is make them feel at easy.

...Purpose...

There is no self

2006-04-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

I'm always talking to others. When we do talk about me..its always so superficial. I think that's why I talk about myself a lot online.

Forgive me.

It broke my knife!

2006-04-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

My battle with lust isn't going well at all.

Even my prayers for forgiveness feel....invalid.

Well Last day of a school week

2006-04-14T11:50:00.000-07:00

I will be 18 in a matter of three days.

I must say I've made quite a few strides forward to maturity in the last year. Though some of my faults still haunt me.

Now All that's left is to work on my spelling.

Can you see, What I see...

2006-03-25T20:27:00.000-08:00

I feel my relationship with The Lord has strengthened very much since a few days ago, I also think I may have found my purpose in life.

A missionary to Japan, It's no secret that I've a heart for the Japanese people, I get along with complete strangers, and it glorifies God.

Praise The Lord, that was that is and that will be forever and ever be.

Man! I don't know!

2006-02-28T09:19:00.000-08:00

I know I've posted on this matter more than enough times but...

Watching Porn doesn't really bother me. It really should because of what it is but I've become jaded to its effect tremendously, which isn't good.

After all this, Am I really called To Christ? No where does it say Eric G. is saved ,and no-where does it say that siply cause you come from a christian home means you will be saved.

I dunno what to do...'m starting to think God doesn't heed my prayers about anything. Hell, Even when I ask for forgiveness It feels like Im just going though the motions.

I don't wanna go to hell.

Agenda

2006-02-22T18:14:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to post this for a long time.

The more work I do around the house the more I realize that it's not only cause of my hatred of messes or my duty as a non employed son, I really just want my family to pay attention to me.

It's not that they ignore me, but with my little sister being homeschooled and brother being they way he is they really have to focus more on them.

With all their focus being on them I often feel alone. It doesn't help seeing that I'm quiet most of the time, and when I do talk it's about something neither of my parents are interested in, or something that I did around the house like cleaning or something.

I want to make it very clear that My Parents don't ignore nor dislike me. They just don't really have time to focus on me.

I like going to Houston, not just for visiting my father, I know when I come back they'll focus on me.

I really should be used to feeling alone, I hate myself for not having that strength.

"If this isn't love than What do you call love now"

2006-02-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

I've been think about love...

I shouldn't say it to so many people...Though To be Honest I only said to about...Four other people outside my family.

I also shouldn't hug so much. I've always loved the thought of self-sacrifice, suffering to only get better though I've constantly failed in doing this.

- And Once again Eric's heart was hardened -

A True Small Christ

2006-01-24T19:10:00.000-08:00

After reaping the same sin's over and over I must admit I've begun to question my own Christianity.

I don't really feel close to God nor do I have a strong desire to read His word, However I was raised in a Christian home and I by far am completely useless. I doubt God would give me such blessings if I weren't made for something.

I seriously have no drive to find the true meaning of my life I just want to play my Games, yet I don't wanna go to hell and I'm not happy with the way things are.hmm...More to come

Adult Cinema

2006-01-20T19:51:00.000-08:00

Why Do I watch porn.

It's quite simple, I lust and I've no wife to let out my sex drive.

Prayer please.

Oh no!

2006-01-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

WEll I made This blog to log all my deeper thinking but...I dunno how to coustomize anything here.

Its all in coding...I think I better make another Xanga.